The art of showing up: Expanding comfort zone in your twenties

How well do you know your comfort zone? It’s our psychological space where our routines feel safe, life is familiar, and predictable. It’s a space in which we operate with minimal stress and risk, we navigate with a feeling of easiness. My comfort zone is my home - and thus I choose to work from there. This allows me to feel a sense of stability, I have more concentration, less distractions. I appreciate the familiarity of my physical space and its effects on my overall stress level. If I were to bring a change in my security and switch it up with a coworking space, I would feel less focused, uncomfortable and more aware of my surroundings, than my workload. But this is only one example. While our comfort zones provide security, in many situations they are affecting us and limiting our opportunities for personal and professional growth.

Looking at my mid-twenties, I can say that they are a roller coaster of emotions and experience. We are hit with major decisions and each one is complemented with the pressure of where we need to be by a certain age. For better or worse, nowadays, traditional paths are just one small part of the growing list of things young adults have to deal with, and sometimes as a way to not get overwhelmed, we forget to open up for new experiences. 

The concept of "showing up" emerges as a crucial element in stressing the importance of actively engaging and pursuing new opportunities, such as tackling new challenges at work, building meaningful relationships, or simply embracing spontaneity. When we step beyond the familiar boundaries of our routines, we create a space for transformation. 

The science behind the comfort zone

I love meeting new people, sharing ideas, and discussing a variety of topics. And I've noticed that I shine more in one-on-one conversations. While there is a lot of overthinking and a general sense of uneasiness behind the scenes, that is something that I can handle easily. Now, when the same scenario includes three strangers instead of one, my comfort zone tends to protest. Meeting new people in group settings proves to be challenging for me; however, I strongly believe that facing this challenge has only benefited me. 

It's simple human psychology! The Yerkes-Dodson Law explains why stress is one of the key factors impacting performance. A moderate level of stress helps us improve, while too much or too little can actually hold us back. It’s why those uncomfortable moments, like when I’m pushed to interact with multiple people at once, are actually helping my brain form new neural pathways, making me more adaptable to change.

Furthermore, personal development thrives in a state of "optimal anxiety". Optimal anxiety is the place where mental productivity and performance reach their peak. When you step out of your comfort zone, you step into that space of optimal anxiety. This is where we challenge ourselves just enough to grow without feeling overwhelmed. By taking small, calculated risks, we optimize growth and adaptability.

Why does change matter? 

Try and imagine your comfort zone as a muscle - it only grows when stretched and trained. When we dare to step beyond familiar boundaries, we unleash three powerful catalysts for personal transformation:

‍Self-discovery through new experiences 

I remember when I was preparing to do a pitch in front of an audience for the first time. And once it was over, I realized not only that I improved my communication skills, but also my ability to function under pressure. Each new experience acts like a mirror, reflecting back aspects of ourselves we never knew existed. This will look different for everyone, but making space for new experiences, putting yourself in a position where you need to learn something brand new, well it may prove to bring you a lot more than just fun.‍

Creativity through new challenges

The Yerkes-Dodson Law foresees that as we push through unknown territory, you slowly adjust and create a new sense of familiarity. The more we experiment, the more creative solutions we find. In the face of new challenges, our brains are rewired to adapt, improving problem-solving skills and sparking fresh insights. Whether it’s adjusting to a new environment or learning a skill from scratch, creativity thrives when we step beyond our routine.

‍Resilience through discomfort

What’s something you keep putting off? A friend of mine had been delaying finalizing her university degree for months. The dread of administrative responsibilities had made this task seem much larger than it really was. Then, on one sunny Monday morning, she finally decided to take care of it. In less than a week, she had finalized everything, met with all her professors,and delivered all necessary material. When we allow anxiety of tasks to control us, challenges seem bigger than they really are - until we face them. Each time we push through hesitation, we build resilience—not just confidence—making it easier to tackle setbacks in the future.

Fun fact about the change - it can be addictive. Psychological research indicates that when we achieve small milestones, our brains release dopamine, the chemical associated with motivation and reward. However, this can also lead to a phenomenon where we keep raising the bar for ourselves. Each achievement quickly becomes our new baseline, and instead of savoring our progress, we immediately shift our focus to the next goal.

What challenges do we face in our mid-twenties?

The mid-twenties are tough. Whether you are finishing your studies or building your professional career, you're in the in-between phase. There is no right trajectory to follow, despite what people may say. Many factors play a role in shaping our experience, and influence no only how we connect with others, but also how we approach personal and professional growth. Some of the biggest challenges young adults face in their mid-twenties are: 

Fear of disruption - The idea of shaking up our routines—whether through new relationships, career shifts, or personal growth can be frightening. Change brings uncertainty, and uncertainty comes with risk. It’s tempting to stay where things feel predictable, even if we know there’s more out there.

Societal expectations - Pressure to have things “figured out” - in the sense of career paths, relationships, and financial stability - often come in the form of uncomfortable questions while you catch up with family over holidays. Social expectations are constantly pushed but rarely discussed in terms of how unrealistic they can be. The fact is, half of young adults struggle to find employment, so don’t beat yourself up over what may be someone else’s definition of “falling behind”.

Changing social dynamics - Everyone keeps saying meeting new people has become harder, and they are right. Research has shown that meeting new people today happens primarily through social media rather than in traditional social settings. While digital connectivity has its benefits, it can also create a paradox where we feel socially active but lack deep, meaningful connections. This shift impacts how young people engage with new opportunities and relationships.

The rise of remote work - It's no surprise that the post-COVID years have reshaped the way we work and interact. As a work-from-home employee, I can’t imagine myself converting back into an office setting. However, remote work has made me more aware of my interactions with others—or the lack thereof. While online communication is great, it cannot compete with genuine in-person conversations. Remote work has led to more surface-level interactions, making it harder to build meaningful relationships. This could further result in feelings of loneliness and stagnation, which can then reinforce our tendency to stay within our comfort zone when it comes to socializing.

Strategies to expand your comfort zone

Taking intentional steps to break free from repetitive patterns and embrace new experiences doesn’t have to mean making drastic changes overnight—it’s about gradual, deliberate growth.

• Starting small can make a big difference. Have you ever wondered how you can eat an elephant? Well Claus Moller’s answer is: one small piece at a time. He advises that, in order to achieve larger goals, it is often necessary to break tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks.
• ‍Reframing failure is crucial. View it as a learning opportunity, each setback will build resilience and make you more adaptable, and it will make future risks feel less intimidating.
• Reflecting regularly through journaling, meditation, or thoughtful conversations can help recognize progress and set new goals, ensuring continuous personal development. 
• Seek support and accountability by surrounding yourself with people who encourage growth. A mentor, a supportive friend, or a group with similar goals can keep you motivated to keep going even when self-doubt creeps in.
• Embrace the discomfort of stepping into the unknown and see it as a sign that you're on the right track. Instead of avoiding uncomfortable situations, lean into them. Challenge yourself to be present in moments that feel outside your norm. Over time, what once felt challenging can become second nature, expanding your comfort zone in ways that make new experiences feel more accessible.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who regularly sought out new experiences and challenges reported higher levels of life satisfaction and emotional well-being. This underscores the idea that personal growth isn’t just about external achievements—it directly impacts our happiness and overall fulfillment.

Give yourself credit

It is important to remember that growth isn’t linear. Often, we expand our comfort zones, only to realize that the finish line keeps moving. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing—it only means we are evolving. However, it’s important to give yourself a 'high five' for all the progress you’ve made rather than constantly chasing the next big thing without reflection. Practicing mindful reflection can help counterbalance this effect, allowing us to appreciate how far we’ve come while still striving for further growth.

What’s one small step you can take this week to challenge yourself? Say yes to something that scares you? Speak up when it feels easier to stay quiet? Try something unfamiliar, even if you might fail? The moment you take that step, you redefine what you’re capable of.

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